Photo: Taken March 2019 in Durham, NC. Victoria’s happy sunshine face captured.
We are all experiencing an interesting time. Life has slowed down and it feels like we are in this indefinite state of suspension. We are forced to cancel or postpone upcoming trips and events and hold-off on making any travel plans in the near future. As we cope with what is unfolding in the world, we experience waves of different emotions. Last week, the Midwest was fortunate enough to have abnormally warm weather, which brought us a taste of summer. For the first time this year, I was able to experience sitting on my balcony. While appreciating the fresh air and warm weather, I grabbed my journal and allowed myself to write this stream of consciousness…
Journal Excerpt: Tuesday, April 7, 2020.
I write this during an interesting time. A time when we are forced to slow down. We are forced to seek inward and reflect on our environment and surroundings. Today was a blessing. Today was a reminder that there are better days ahead of us. Today, people sit on their balconies, enjoy fresh air, warm weather, and sunshine.
Today, we dream. Dream of what summer will bring us. Dream of the times where we’ll be able to dip our toes in the water, lay in the sand, hug one another, and feel the support of our communities. It will be worth it. We have to hope. We have to dream.
I am dreaming of feeling limitless, feeling free, feeling boundless, feeling expansive, feeling liberated. I feel the warm kiss of the sun against my cheeks, a soft breeze in the air tickling my skin. They are messages saying: soon, it will be time. They are whispering: we are here for you, and we’ll be waiting.
I face the sun and say thank you. Thank you for today. For adding flushness to my cheeks, for bringing radiance to my skin. For casting long, lazy shadows across my balcony. For bringing people together in the simplest way: to appreciate the rays of the sun.
It’s hard not to become reminiscent of our ‘normal’ lives. It’s natural to be looking back and longing for a time when things made sense. When life wasn’t so lonely and isolating. A time where we could breathe freely. When processing the unknown, we can’t help but try to make sense of it all. Like looking at the journey and questioning: How on earth did we get here? How would we have done things differently if we had known what we know now?
I want to drink in the sun. I want to sit here and let myself absorb all of the rays and harness the energy so I too can continue to glow when the days are cold, dark, and lonely.